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New Trends in Divorce Mediation
Submitted by Cheryl Prewitt,
Program Manager, Monroe County
Cheryl Prewitt recently attended the New York State Council on Divorce Mediation (NYSCDM) Annual Conference in Saratoga Springs. She shared some reflections on her experience, below.
How long have you been a mediator, and how long have you been doing divorce mediation?
I have been a mediator since 2006 (17 years). I have been doing Divorce Mediation since 2009 (14 years).
What do you find most rewarding about divorce mediation?
What I find most rewarding is working through the complexity of divorce issues, helping people navigate those issues, and working through the possibilities of how they will resolve them. Conversations happen sometimes smoothly… sometimes not. The mediation room is a place to have those difficult conversations. People often come into mediation not having a clue where to begin. I like knowing that I can help them learn where they have to go and what they need to resolve to be able to file for an uncontested divorce, while supporting their sense of self-determination throughout the process.
What stood out to you from attending the conference?
I was impressed with the number of sessions that gave attention to the use of technology in the mediation field today. These sessions explored the marketing sector, training, case management, and mediation sessions. I personally use technology throughout the whole process from intake to Pro se Packet assistance. Online meeting spaces are being more widely used since our shared COVID experience opened the possibilities of what technology can allow us to do. In being forced to take a different approach to providing mediation services, we created a whole new service we can provide to our clients. We can offer training and in-services to our volunteers and meet more frequently with staff and mediators within our Judicial District and associations within the state.
What is a challenge in the field of divorce mediation? How do you approach that challenge?
All clients have their own expectations coming into the process and are often not on the same page as to where their relationship is. They often don’t know what issues need to be addressed. My biggest challenge is making sure I properly address the needs of our clients and prepare them for the work they will be expected to do during the mediation process.
I approach this challenge during the process of intake. It’s important to provide our clients with the time that they need to absorb the information I am giving them, encourage them to ask questions, and provide more detail on topics that directly affect them. I walk them through how the mediation process flows and how being better prepared to begin the process can benefit them. I make myself available to them during their process to answer questions that arise. The idea is that “The best surprise is no surprise.” (a quote from one of our Divorce Mediators, Bob Hauser).
Anything else you’d like to share?
One thing I would like to add is the importance of working with our volunteers and what they add to our organization. There is a lot that they must do to be able to sit in the room with our clients that are going through a divorce. It takes time and patience to get through the divorce mediation apprenticeship. I love working with our volunteers; both in teaching them and learning from them. They lighten my workload and provide such a valuable service to our community. I am thankful for all that they contribute.
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